Mystified

if you think you’re sad
on what scale is mine
to uncover the hidden pieces
of you
i don’t care to know

and sure as hell
if you really wanted me
you couldn’t bring
all of your darkness
to where i am
i wouldn’t let you

you are beautiful
at least
i saw that you were
so why hold on
to such emptiness
trash and darkness
and lose everything
for a mere child’s game

i’m mystified
more than horrified
and totally accustomed
to disappointment
i’ll go on as i always do
as i did before
i’ll sigh lightly on my way out
because that is the tale
and entirety of my life

i would never have asked
for change
i’m no ignorant female
and certainly nobody’s good girl

i gave up belief in man altering
long time ago

maybe goodbye
is all that remains
you choose
it’s your life
after all

Lingering

sad-on-winter-night

The nights pass
in painful despair
without the knowing of you

My thoughts
drift in
then fall from dreams

I fear
you are with her
but wonder
when you touch her skin
when you kiss her lips
  is it not hers you feel
but the lingering memory
of mine?