if you think you’re sad
on what scale is mine
to uncover the hidden pieces
of you
i don’t care to know

and sure as hell
if you really wanted me
you couldn’t bring
all of your darkness
to where i am
i wouldn’t let you

you are beautiful
at least
i saw that you were
so why hold on
to such emptiness
trash and darkness
and lose everything
for a mere child’s game

i’m mystified
more than horrified
and totally accustomed
to disappointment
i’ll go on as i always do
as i did before
i’ll sigh lightly on my way out
because that is the tale
and entirety of my life

i would never have asked
for change
i’m no ignorant female
and certainly nobody’s good girl

i gave up belief in man altering
long time ago

maybe goodbye
is all that remains
you choose
it’s your life
after all



Image result for vladimir kush paintings

i wanted it to be
the way it is
in stories

it turns out
the same… again
his eyes that way
my ears this way

differences dividing
right down our centre

i wanted it to be
new found love
the way it often begins
and ends
in books

my heart never learns
that kind of love
those guys

are only tales


Medicate The Mind

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Maybe… I’ve changed my way
walking backwards
zoning out
maybe… i’m not
who you thought I was

What comes to mind
when you look at me
all ‘you’ve‘ ever hoped for
all you have ‘imagined

Unfold the telescope
gaze through the tunnel
until reality gifts a surprise
and there you may find
there are no stars

Honestly medicate the mind
don’t let ‘it‘ dictate to you
form a unique shape
and demand it never lie

Maybe… you like things I don’t
i fear we’ll never agree
maybe… it’s time
we woke from our sleeping


No Fantasy Darling

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I don’t know, what makes you think
our incompatible, would be such perfection
would it not in time, wrap around our graceful throats
choke the life from flesh
leave our souls overcast, bruised and abused
although, you might like that
you seem thrilled by the fantasy of harm

It’s no fucking fantasy darling
harm is damage
no matter how
delicate the mind or the hand
and murder mysteries
are no fun entertainment
the two are akin to me

What makes you sure, you’d be content by my side
when you know I’ll be questioning your intelligence
the stories in your head have scribbled a fabrication
the stories have whispered torrid tales
whip the fiction back on the page
and tell it how naughty it’s been
you dreamed a girl, who doesn’t exist



In these moments
I sense you lean close
in subtle ways
you leave
a questioning heart

I wait for you to tell me
of the fire in your eye
feel the heat
you choose to conceal

In these moments
I hear so much
even when
you leave your voice behind

Image: Rene Magritte



You were my Frankenstein
I your freakish bride
together we complicated
each others decay

with your roving eye
with my self hate

It was inevitable
I would stick
to the bitter end
and blame myself
for everything
that never happened

that you
would not